Monday, October 8, 2012

I have been doing a lot of writing lately. I self-published an erotic fantasy, which is going back into the edit window. The sequel will follow. If you want to see the proof copy go to The Alpha Wolf Bent Me Over
I will be giving out free copies when the second part to the series comes out.

I also had my first published story an anthology 
PURCHASE A COPY TODAY below is what people are already saying about
"An eclectic mix of weird/bizarre fiction, guaranteed to tickle from your toenails to your temporal lobe, from your meninges to your metatarsals. Elements of horror, sci-fi, and noir serve to imbue this anthology with more crossover appeal than might be expected from most bizarro collections"

Enter to win a copy @ GOODREADS  From October 5th - October 17th

Still Alive!!

What I have been Reading.....

Read For Review

Wednesday, June 27, 2012






New Giveaway Hosted by

 

Pages From My Thoughts






Head on over to Pages From My Thoughts and see her interview with author and enter for you chance to win!!


Photobucket"

Friday, June 15, 2012

Zombie Fairy Tales Giveaway





GIVEAWAY

I read the latest installment and once again Kevin shows he is part of the round table for the Zombie kings.
I welcome Kevin back to Book-Nooker today with the latest questions I asked him, as well as a Giveaway for two copies of any part of the saga. One From Kevin himself and one from me. This is for Kindle only
 
 I seen this posted *One of my beta readers for this story responded, "Are you sure you weren't on acid when you wrote this?" Thinking back on the plot of this one, that may not have been an inappropriate question. (She liked the story, by the way.)*
What helps you get in the mood to write?I like to go for drives when developing stories. It helps if I can find a song that I can replay that fits the story, but even if I don’t, just having this time to let my mind wander and relax helps. When it’s time to sit down and write, I have a very definite process: I first have to turn off the Internet, as it’s much too distracting; then I do about fifteen minutes of free writing to clear my head and focus; and then I write nonstop (or at least, try to) for about two hours in a session in full-screen mode. I usually drink espresso or something highly caffeinated when writing, and I also have my outline and character notes on hand. It’s mostly a process of clearing my head and keeping myself free of distractions as I write.What is your favorite Fairy Tale Character?
I usually liked the villains the most, but they don’t usually have very strong personalities in the original stories. Disney did a good job of giving depth to the characters, especially in the early 90s when even the heroines seemed to have this sense of ennui about them. I think The Little Mermaid had my favorite characters overall.If a plague did happen, and Zombies were walking around. What would you do?Oh, like most people that have seen a zombie movie, I’ve thought about this a lot. I could probably barricade myself in my apartment easily enough, since I’m not on the first floor, but resources might be a problem. I definitely would not be making any cross-country journeys in search of lost relatives like they seem to in almost every zombie movie. That’s just nuts.
 

Now Playing!!!


The story starts with the ugly sisters on their way to the ball.
As we know Cinderella is on her way too.

The Prince is looking for his 13th....memorable monument. At his Ball that turns out to be a bloody orgy of rolling heads.

Heads offs to Cinderella 2.

GIVEAWAY


 
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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Review For IDIOTville













Paperback: 172 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace (March 3, 2012)
Language: English
 ISBN-13: 978-1468095746
 
From the back of book "Life is like a box of chocolates. Except only idiots doesn't read the ingredients in fine print before eating one."

Reading this book gave me some unforgettable laughs. I am glad I own a copy. The priest with tourette syndrome I would have to say is my favorite. The ending to one of the chapters kinda made me think of National Lampoon's Christmas. Where the reindeer lawn decoration goes flying through the air and Grandma yells "Play Ball"

Take some dirt eating neighbors, a couple of idiots with inappropriate language and a box of chocolates laced with ecstasy mixed with some ink. And you have Idiotville.

A Laugh Out Louder reading experience!
 

WANT MORE IDIOTVILLE!! 

Visit Robert Kral on his webpage
IDIOTville.COM 

Monday, June 4, 2012

Giveaway


                                                               Paperback: 258 pages


Publisher: Outskirts Press (April 30, 2012)
ISBN: 978-1432790165
Genre: FICTION / Humorous




Book Description:

A satire about the 2008 presidential election, Population: One tells the story of the well-intentioned, but slightly clueless, Tara Haylin as she sets sail with her parents through the Atlantic en route to the Bermuda Triangle in an effort to debunk all of the surrounding myths about the area. After a tragic boating accident leaves her orphaned and washed ashore a sand marsh in the middle of nowhere, republican presidential hopeful Ron Rogaine, and his wife, Trisha, crash-land on the same turf while traveling to the Bahamas and pluck her from obscurity into the public eye by convincing her to join Ron's campaign as his running mate. Ron's opponent, the democratic nominee Jermaine Intesh, along with his running mate, senator Moe Trident, refuse to sit idle and let Tara's youthful good looks deter the voters from Ron's incompetence. In a desperate attempt to regain the public's trust after a campaign event goes horribly wrong, Jermaine devises the perfect plan that will not only guarantee him victory, but will also give history a rewrite and change the United States of America forever.







My Reveiw:
Tara is Marooned on an island after the boat with her Mom and Dad gets tossed around by a storm. All by herself she is later found by a married couple. Husband of couple is running for President and needs a Vice President. Looking for "Eye Candy" as his running mate to bring in the younger voters, Tara is just what he is looking for. What would you say if you were asked this question...."Will you be my Vice President?"

Belitch the author does a great character introduction and some hilarious dialogue. I am not big on politics and could give a rats ass on who is president. I would choose Homer Simpson as President and the Geiko Lizard as Vice President. But I still enjoyed this book.

I found myself cheering for Ron and Tara to win the race to the White House. I will not give away No more but will say I hated the character Svek. Narcissistic bastard...bah! can not stand those type of people. 4 Stars
 
Interview with the Author Jerry Belitch:
 
Why did you decide to this book?

 Like so many others frustrated by a governmental system that doesn't seem to be working lately, I came up with the idea for a story revolving around fictional versions of real-life people and situations that I hoped would put recent events into perspective by showing just how absurd some politician's thought processes really are. The majority of America, myself included, had never heard of Sarah Palin prior to John McCain's choosing her to include on his campaign ticket. Based on people's perception of her alone, I constructed a tale where a fictional woman modeled after Palin was literally thrust into the public eye overnight and had to deal with the aftermath.


What types of readers will be interested in your book?

Anyone who enjoys humorous fiction or is interested in current events will enjoy Population: One.

Besides Population: One, where can readers get more of Jerry Belitch?

While I have published various short stories and news articles in the past, Population: One is my first and only novel so far. However, I do have several projects in the works, including a couple of screenplays and some general ideas for new novels in the future. As a comedian though, I'm always writing and performing stand-up comedy and song parodies. In fact, the first two comedy albums I ever recorded are available for free download in their entirety courtesy of my official website, jbelitch.weebly.com. There's also a link there to my blog which I update on the occasion with my signature banter and wild tirades.

If Population: One was made into a movie, who would you choose for cast members?

That's an excellent question which admittedly, I haven't given a whole lot of thought to. As the book's narrative is a hybrid of satire and parody, it would be important to me to cast people who resemble their on-screen counterparts as much as possible. Focusing solely on the principal characters, I think Jack Nicholson would be an excellent choice to portray Ron Rogaine; for the role of Trisha, it's a toss-up between Jennifer Aniston and Tina Fey; Will Smith would definitely have to be Jermaine Intesh; Kevin Kline as Moe Trident; Emma Stone as Tara Haylin; I would love to see Robert DeNiro as the self-absorbed Sven Hyek; and rounding out the cast would be Owen Wilson as the blogger, Arnold Shtump.
 A man of humor, give me a joke I may have not heard?

What's the difference between Hollywood and a prostitute? Nothing. They both charge you for entertainment and most of the time you walk away feeling like the experience wasn't that great.




GIVEAWAY!!


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Friday, May 18, 2012

Zombie Fairy Tales


Another trip into the Fairy Tale land where the plague continues......


After a peasant father sells his unstable daughter to a noble estate, she is thrown into a secret chamber of the castle as dinner for their undead son. But when the Beast refuses to touch her, the two form an unusual alliance that soon blossoms into something more.

My Quick Review
Upon traveling to the castle doors. Beauty gets handed over to servants. She meets the beast. And kicks some servant ass to survive.

A happy Zombie ending for the beastly love couple. Outta the five Zombie tales so far this takes the number 3 spot IMO.


About Zombie Fairy Tales:

Beauty Is a Beast is the fifth in a monthly series of short stories set in a dark fairy tale universe plagued by zombies. Surreal and full of black humor, installments feature familiar childhood characters as they encounter a world of stark violence and horror—Cinderella is worked to death before the ball, Pinocchio is made from children's corpses, and Little Red Riding Hood finds more than wolves in the forest.

New titles will appear on the 13th of each month throughout 2012. The series features overlapping elements, characters, and places for a more immersive experience for the dedicated fan, but can also be read as stand-alone entries in any order. Get infected now.